Maybe it have been a long time since the last I talking seriously about my life, my decisions, everything! You know? Sometime I just miss the time when I can pray to You sincerely, like I did when I was small, so do You… I guess.
I know You are so busy, you take care all things in this amazing huge universe, in the same time You should listen for much pray addressed to You. Really, it’s logically unaccepted if You can listen all of those prays and always make wise decision. But You’re The Almighty, nothing You can’t do… till the end of the world, I know, realize, and believe that You always have the best plans for everyone in every time and everywhere. That’s why God, I just can lean on You, depend on You, and hope to You.
I want to be honest to You, because I know You know everything inside my mind and heart.
For many cases, choosing a life path is the hardest thing I face in this life chance. You know, God? Usually I just have no idea which one right or wrong, which one better or worse. Usually everything in front of me look similar! I can’t decide which one wrong, because everything looked right…. Or everything just look good, etc. You know? Choosing is very difficult life lesson, at least for me. There are tons of questions in my head, trying to answer what do You want to do to me? What’s for? Why should me? What should I do next? Everything… sometimes I’m become so patient but I can’t pretend that sometimes I also become so emotional because can’t get any explanations about “what will happen?” and “why it happens?” Your plans is like a secret missions, no one can guessing… but surely it will happen, and You have a power to do everything. Nothing impossible for You, nothing! I will never hesitate Your decisions, never!
You know, I love You… really love You. But I don’t have any idea why usually I become so much ugly and do bad. I realize it, really realize it. How can I’m not grateful enough to You and still break Your law and rule. I don’t know… human is very complicated? Different with any other creatures in your universe… human have mind, heart, love, lust, everything! You make human so perfect… but it makes sometime they can’t have a good control to control every blessing You give. Human… can be so kind more than angels, in the other side…. When they lose control they also can more cruel than devil. So, this is my first request… Keep this heart, so it will continue to be on your Way. Maybe I will do something wrong for many times, in that time… please remind me about the right way I should choose or at least show me what should I do. Please, never be angry to me… please, because I’ll never survive without You.
If I’m not wrong, I have tell you several times, maybe every time, about my dreams… ambitions… imaginations… hopes…. Everything. I remember, when I felt You weren’t answer my prayers… I got mad! Really mad! Felt that You’re so unfair! But… after several time passed, You show me that You give the better things for me. So, here I am now…I believe in You…
You teach me that life is not easy for some people in this world. You teach me about hard work, about how to survive even when I just have a dream left, about how to appreciate other people, about how to tolerant, about how to be so tough and strong in facing everything! So, I hope… I can become a person who tough enough to help other people who need me.
Make me so clever and smart! So I can help people to learn about Your science, feel amazed because it, and feel more grateful for everything to You.
Make me so rich! So I can make people around me not hungry again… so they can gain more concentration to take care their family and pray to You.
Make me so powerful! So I have a power to stop any
Make me so patient and lovable! So I can make everybody smile
Make me so wise! So I can make the best decisions not only for me but also for people around me
and Make me so kind and sincere! So I can do these idealism… just for and because You.
God… I dedicate every steps and dreams I have just for You. But please, give me some chances to make my existence useful for many people. Please let my parent, family, teacher, friends, and every people in this world, later or soon, proud to me. Please make my life in this world, worth!
Too much request isn’t it? Yeaaaah… much request, because I just can demand everything to You, just You.
God, I have another request…
Can You take care my Mom? She take care of me very well till today, she is the best I ever had… so, I hope You can give her the best health, wealth, and happiness.
Can You take care my family too? Because they have done many things to me, they make my life…LIFE.
Can You also take care my teachers and friends? For many things, they teach me… You know? Nobody’s perfect… but they perfect me.
Can You give a big attention to all human in this universe? I don’t know how… but can You make us more tolerant each other… care and help each other… and more peace day by day. In the future, I’ll have children, grandchildren, etc, just like anybody else in this earth… in that’s time I just don’t want to see them to live in not conducive world. I want to see everybody’s happy!
God, night wore on
that’s all my letter for You today.
I hope you can consider for it and grant it for me.
It is You we worship and You we ask for help.
Guide us to the straight path
The path of those upon whom You have bestowed favor, not of those who have evoked [Your] anger or of those who are astray.
(Q.S. Al-Faatihah: 5-7)
For everything… I thank you.